Highly Effective Self-Love

flower bee

“Everything takes time. Bees have to move very fast to stay still.” 
― David Foster WallaceBrief Interviews With Hideous Men

*originally posted in June 2013*

I have been on a healing journey for just over 2 years. It is amazing how, in 21 days (of the self-love challenge, I am feeling the guilt for taking care of myself melt away from my brain like the wax from a burning candle.

Tracie Nichols (who is also doing the challenge) said it quite eloquently in one of her posts: We are noticing and we are loving.

Noticing —–> Loving

She states: “No matter what I DO over these 40 days, I’m guessing it’s the noticing … loving pattern that’s the real gift.”

Yes! A true gift. Then I came to think, to notice the patterns I also have to look at one pattern which keeps some of the wax from melting: “putting things off”. Now, I have to say I do not call myself a procrastinator anymore. I hate labels. Yet, I tend to leave things for later.. things I know would ease the worry if I just picked up the phone and made that call.

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.”
Stephen R. Covey

The late Stephen Covey, in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that one important thing to help ease the stress from the back of our minds is to do those “little tasks” we were “meaning to do”. He concluded, that doing these little things i.e. Fixing the leaky faucet, tightening that bolt on the door that has rattled for weeks, or just making that “dreaded” dr’s appointment, would ease our worry levels 10 fold.

We notice these things every day. “Oh I have to make that call!” and it is those little things which clutter our self-loving mind. Today, as a self-loving act and ritual, I am going to make a list of few things which have nagged my mind and need to be tended to. BUT!! I am not going to put pressure to do them all at once.

Just writing them down, and putting the list somewhere I can see is enough. Then, I will make a commitment to myself to do at least 1 or 2 a day over the next week.  Maybe I’ll do less, maybe I’ll do more, however, crossing them off will feel “oh so yummy” and I will have succeeded on finding the “right timing” for achieving these small tasks without blaming myself for the ones that I didn’t do right away.

One thing “atta” time…

Yes.. noticing —-> loving…


Today, I take the time to work through what needs to be done, so I can be free of mind chatter.

No more calling myself a procrastinator…. I am allowed to take my time, yet also notice what needs to be done, and do them lovingly.

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.” 

― Stephen R. Covey


  1. I really need to do this more and when I do, I feel better knowing I actually accomplishes something! Good for you for doing this!

  2. One step at a time… first, get the steps to fit!
    Awesome, Kim!!!

    • Kim

      June 18, 2013 at 11:59 am


    • Kim

      July 24, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Yes, and sometimes what I find it the tasks seem easier once they are on paper, and I get a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when I cross one off.

      Plus, I noticed this week, doing even one thing unblocked a lot of energy.

  3. Yay! For you making the call. For your landlord’s answer. And for you writing about this topic. I needed to see this, today 🙂

  4. I couldn’t wait to get your Day Eleven post Kim and I see why! Breaking the elephant into small, manageable pieces helps us make progress! Way to go on phoning your landlord. We feel the fear and just do it! Thanks for this and I will be writing up my “to do” list as well. xoxo

    • Kim

      June 18, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Oh.. how awesome Catherine. I did another thing on my list (that I didn’t even write yet but was in my head) I cleaned out the freezer. So now I have 9 to write!

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