Notes In The Margins by M’Chele Johnson

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Leonardo Da Vinci

“Her grandmother had once told her that one of life’s best lessons was not being afraid to look foolish — to just ask the question.” 
― Melissa Senate

Ever since I could remember, even as a child, I have always taken an ‘observer’s’ standpoint on my life. With a sense of emotional detachment, born from a difficult childhood filled with alcoholism, incest and abuse, I was the one watching from the shadows.

Maybe that is the reason I am so fascinated by life, science and human existence. The behaviors people exhibit and the actions they take, interest me to no end, as I try to figure out what makes them tick and why.

Belief systems and the things people do to justify them are more than a curiosity to me, they are a puzzle that needs to be solved.

The way nature operates with, around and in spite of us, gives me pause to consider a higher meaning and purpose to an otherwise mundane world.

Rags to riches stories, paranormal, the unexplained, and me. Ever the Watcher, always the outsider. As a professed Introvert, I acknowledge and accept myself the way I am.

This wasn’t always the case.

As someone on the outside looking in, just on the periphery, I am best described as the notes in the margins.

I question everything and everyone, to the point that makes others uncomfortable, and then I question some more.

For a lifetime, I have tried to make myself fit into areas I was not meant to be.

For a lifetime, I have tried to find where I belong, and, for a lifetime, I have felt that restless longing for something I felt was missing in my life and inside of me.

Now, as I am closing out my fourth decade, I have come to realize my restless spirit, once viewed as a curse, is actually a gift in disguise. My gift.

This is what keeps me motivated. This is what gives my life meaning. I am not missing anything!

I am intensely curious and this keeps me searching for answers. This is who I am.

Now, that I have finally accepted and embraced my uniqueness, things are falling into place…in this lifetime, I have made my peace with it.

Maybe, just maybe, what I have searched for all this time, was within me after all.

What, in your lifetime do you need to make peace with?

#40DaysOfSelfLove follow Mohini’s day 9 here ~~~~~~> Day 9

m'cheleA little about M’chele 

M’chele Johnson is witty, warm, and wise spirit with great sense of humor.  This is her debut here at MITV, so please give M’chele a warm welcome.

She lives in California, with her boys and hubby where the sun is always on the menu!

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1 Comment

  1. Finding peace within hasn’t been an easy journey for me. Thankfully, as I grow older as you’ve mentioned, acceptance of myself is coming along. A journey, indeed! Thanks for your post, M’chele.

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