The Day Self-Love Won by Tracie Nichols

Art by: Giovanni Bellini

Art by: Giovanni Bellini

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” 
― Steve Maraboli,

Looking at the picture, I astonished myself by murmuring, “I just can’t hate her.” I was talking about myself, looking at a photograph taken recently as I was speaking at a Wellness Fair.

In it I was just as soft and round as I’ve ever been, but my usual scathing self-loathing was weirdly silent, and my heart felt strangely full …. of compassion?

I felt like I was witnessing the Aurora Borealis, or a white tiger. Something rare and beautiful and not likely to be repeated any time soon.

Compassion happened again…

Two weeks later I was standing in the (dreaded) changing room reflected in 3 mirrors from all sorts of angles. Seeing my body clearly was unavoidable.

My usual reaction would have been to loath on myself and run away. This time, though, my arms rose and wrapped themselves around my breasts and belly while compassion flooded my heart for a second time.

Compassion, and something more….

I watched myself fall into a slow-motion surrender. An infinitely gentle tumble into love…with my body.

Tears. Astonishment. Wonder. Awe. Joy. Disbelief. More joy. Giddy laughter. More tears. One delirious emotion after another cascaded wildly through. I love … my body?

There was no writing about this. No talking about it. This seedling love needed tending. My full presence. Putting it into words too soon would have shattered it, strangled it, stolen it’s light.

It needed to sink in…become familiar territory. Invoke a bit less awe and few less tears before I could risk sharing it. My body needed to get used to being loved by the soul inhabiting her. (Oh dear, more tears as I wrote that.)

Imperfect Self-Love = perfect resiliency

For this story, I don’t have a tidy concluding paragraph complete with “how to’s.” My narrative simply comes to rest in knowing how an imperfect self-love practice can effectively repair decades of self-loathing damage.

It comes to rest in knowing a self-love practice can build enough resiliency that the creature from the self-loathing lagoon goes back where he came from…and stays there. It rests in the realization that self-love practiced can lead to falling in love with yourself.


originally published Oct 30, 2013 at

The 40 Days Of Self-Love Challenge is on day 8!

However, it is never too late to join. If you are interested in participating, please leave a comment, and I will give you a link to our secret group.

Read Mohini’s Journey here ~~~~~> Day 8

tracie nicholsTracie Nichols helps secretly fierce women to free their fierce and love being at home in their own skin.

She is a recovering “secretly fierce woman” and kick-butt intuitive who loves finding all sorts of creative ways to serve some of the most courageous, inspiring, worthwhile women she’s ever known (Yes, that would be YOU).

Her well-loved newsletter appears in inboxes on the new and full moon and she blogs (nearly) daily. “Stop by, grab a cup of tea, settle in and enjoy! I LOVE when a lively conversation springs up under a post.” You can also find her on Twitter @tracietnichols and on Facebook Tracie Nichols and Wildly Fiercely Flourishing with Tracie Nichols


  1. Oh!!!
    That…. is something I look forward to, Tracie!

    Thank you, Kim!

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