Making the Uncomfortable Comfortable

small star flower

Do not give way to useless alarm; though it is right to be prepared for the worst, there is no occasion to look on it as certain.”  Jane AustenPride and Prejudice

It is HOT.. It is stinking hot in my part of the world, and I know many in the USA are feeling it too! Heat makes me grumpy, miserable, and really impatient. I get claustrophobic (yes I have tons of phobias ha!) when I go outside in the extreme humidity..

I feel I cannot run away from it. Or can I?

Feeling uncomfortable is not my cup of tea, and I am sure it is not yours also. The fact is, today, it is hot.. so what am I going to do about it? How am I going to make myself feel more comfortable in a situation where I am not?

There are many situations where we feel uncomfortable, some we can control, such as, if you are invited to a party where there are people there you may not want to run to, you can either decline, or go with a plan in mind. I would probably choose the first one, however, I have been known to choose the latter. My plan would probably consist of staying close to those I feel safe with, ask the host what area I could go to be alone in case of anxiety, and I would have an exit plan. Maybe line up a ride or have enough money in my wallet to take a taxi at my leisure.

It is all in the way we deal with uncomfortableness..

I was just reading a friend’s status on Facebook this morning. She admits she is a complainer: “It’s too hot” “I don’t like it when___” “I’m sick of _____!_ You know what?  I am a complainer too. What I find with complaining is it can go 2 ways. You can complain all day and not do anything about it. OR You can complain a little, state the fact out loud once: “I can’t stand this shit” and move towards a better situation. I find complaining very releasing.

When I am having an anxiety attack, I often scream “I effin’ hate when this happens” Studies have shown (see article here) swearing eases pain, and I am absolutely positively sure it helps mine. So If a need to swear during a panic attack.. I will.. and then move on.

I don’t suggest swearing or constantly yelling your unhappiness in public if you are uncomfortable at a party…  but complaining underneath your breath may help… just a little.

Most studies show, complaining, is not such a powerful thing to do. If you are a chronic complainer it can be “like second-hand smoke, it affects everyone around you” (excerpt from Me the Power Around You) . So I pick and choose where I complain, who I complain to (like my therapist) and how I complain.

Take for example my “rare” Facebook complaining. I like to humorously complain about “how hot it is lately” I try to add humor to the situation with funny pictures or anecdotes. This in turn,  deflects the negativity of the complaint, and since ALL my friends (almost all) complained about winter just a few months ago, I am totally getting back at them. (ha!)

Meaning, it is ok to state what is making you feel uncomfortable, it releases it, next step is to put positive into the negative.

I like to give myself options!

Moving on to being comfortable or accepting that for the moment, things are not going to be so “OK” helps me alot. In therapy, I learn to be in the moment, (not so easy if you have a toothache) yet, I am practicing with the little unpleasant moments, hoping for a future of mindfulness and acceptance of what is.

By far have I mastered the art, but I know resistance is futile. Isn’t it?

So, no, I am not resisting the heat, it is there for another day or 2 and really, there is nothing I can say to Mother Nature but to allow her to do her thing. Yet, like krissychula in this You Tube video, now gone viral (and shared twice on my Facebook) giving the Universe a piece of your mind, can turn the ugly into something pretty funny! Then you can start finding ways, to feel comfortable again!

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” – Hugh Sidey

Now please excuse me while I go cool myself off in the tub!

5 Comments

  1. Ooooh, how I resonate!
    Yup, venting is of essence when the pressure builds up, and so is moving on, once the pressure is released.
    Lesson from my pressure cooker! 😀
    Kim, good news from Mumbai, India… The rains have arrived!

  2. I spent almost 4 hours waiting for my Dad to have a test done at the hospital yesterday. I didn’t want to go far in case they called me to take him home so I sat and read my book. I’ve really had to learn to be patient and remind myself that things could be a lot worse!!! So yes, trying to make ourselves comfortable in uncomfortable places is key!!!

  3. Kim

    July 19, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    You see, I disagree, I want to be able to complain once in awhile. Not like I used to .. but shit.. there are going to be bad days.. and we need to VENT!

    So for now, I allow myself minimum, yet effective, complaining. 🙂

  4. Another blogger recently gave me a fantastic idea–a day without complaining. I even read about a person who tried it for 21 days and it took him eight years. Thoughts of complaints will come, but the aim is to let them go without verbalizing them. This is one habit I’d be lucky to make stick.

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