The Pressure of a Persona by Caren Schmidt

finding balance

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” 
― Lao Tzu

I recently had a minor melt down. I was lucky enough to be with a friend when this tantrum happened. As I was in the middle of what I can only describe as an ah-ha moment, I noticed the Universe telling me to “get over yourself and get real”. My friend looked at me and said, “stop trying to live up to something you’re not”. It was as if the Universe was speaking through her and her words were the message.

I have been a coach for some time now and in that time I have tried to live up to what a perfect coach should be. Only it is hard to be a perfect coach when you aren’t perfect. I have been trying to survive in my profession and thinking I had to live up to this image of what a perfect coach looked like.The pressure was draining, hence the melt down. I thought I had to always be optimistic, always be thinking healthy thoughts, always try to see all sides and accept that those that do wrong, to me or others are just on their journey.

Well, I call bullshit!!

I am not perfect, I drop f-bombs, more than I should. I eat fried food, and other not so good for you things. I love a good cup of coffee. I have melt downs and I can get really angry and aggressive in traffic. My mindset was telling me that this made me a terrible spiritual being and a so-so wellness coach. How could I guide people to a better way of life when I was living behind my grande latte and cursing in traffic?

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?” 
― C. JoyBell C.

With all of my faults, the ones I hide, here is what I do know about me. I am a deeply spiritual being, I may falter, but I am far from enlightened. That is still part of a process. I love yoga and the feeling of connection I have with myself and my Source. I have a meditation practice that sometimes feels more of a bother than a joy. That is when I know I need it the most. I eat healthy 80% of the time and I try to get better all the time. I am a big proponent of journaling, and sometime I can go weeks without writing a single word.

With these faults I still believe I live in my true authentic self.

Isn’t that what it’s all about, the journey. I don’t have to succumb to the pressure of being the persona I assume everyone is looking for.It is exhausting trying to live up to an image of what we think we should be. If anything, it is these qualities that make me a better coach, a more understanding coach. I may not live up to the persona in my mind, but I am an example of how we must accept all of our parts. I can no longer hide behind the persona of the perfect coach, there will be bad thoughts, bad food, and bad language; there will also be lots of love behind it.

That’s just who I am….

Namaste _/\_

55402_1762246174632_2455058_oCaren Schmidt is a Certified Holistic Health Coach and Life Strategist with a passion for helping women achieve a joyful life. A spiritual seeker who describes herself as “a late bloomer”, having only discovered her spiritual self in the last ten years. Caren practices a holistic approach with a focus on the mind-body connection; and believes everyone should make self care a priority.

Born and raised in Texas, Caren describes herself as a non-traditionalist. Learning her own core values at a young age and then taking them with her along her journey has made her who she is today. Caren always knew she wanted to be a writer, writing short stories and poetry since high school. She shelved her dream when she entered the workforce. Since then, Caren has written several blogs and is working on her book, You Have Such a Pretty Face…..If You’d Just Lose the Weight.

She is a supporter of the empowerment of women, working with them to find their own voice and teaching them to step into their higher self. Caren focuses on body image coaching and life strategies. Her background in wellness is always at the foundation of her coaching. Caren believes that when you nourish your body, you nourish your mind.

Caren lives in Arizona with her Rat Terrier, Harley. Her desert lifestyle is a far cry from the concrete jungle of San Francisco, the most recent place she called home. She is learning to navigate the suburban lifestyle with her city mentality. After all, Caren believes, it’s just part of the journey….

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3 Comments

  1. Thank you Sheila and Catherine. Owning that messy part of ourselves is what makes us unique. Thanks for reading!

  2. Such a great article! It’s very freeing the day you realize that nobody is perfect, nor should they try to be. And yet, even after realizing this myself, I still come down hard on myself when I feel I’m not being enough of something or can’t control my emotions or whatever! Do we ever really get over this? I hope to someday be able to just sink into a wonderful feeling of contentment about everyone and everything, including myself.

  3. I think people can relate better when we share the messy parts of ourselves cause most everyone knows they’re not perfect and are just trying to be the best they can be! Thanks for your post!

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