I So Want You To Feel Better

 

the-magic-box

“Where you are is in a perfect place to begin again” ¬ Abraham Hicks

Recently, a loved one, has resurfaced in crisis. This person is trying to make his way through the fog, a fog I once moved through, and I feel as if I want to take him by the hand and lead him to a clearing. Yet, it is not my walk to walk. It tore me to shreds to have to take certain actions towards this person so they knew I wasn’t going to play the old rôle of missionary. I was and I did finally take a stand, and calling an ambulance to his house hoping this would get him the help he really needs.

Not even 24 hours  later, the person is home, reliving their same story. After having a few phone conversations with my loved one,  I cried myself to sleep feeling I failed at helping, and that there is nothing more I can do but continue to take a stand for myself.  After speaking to a good friend about the events of that week, she passed on a video of Abraham Hicks she thought may help… and it did. So I am sharing it with you, but first let’s talk about breaking old habit shall we?

My love for you is so strong

The hardest pattern I have ever broken, is the need to fix people. The need to make someone happy who clearly doesn’t WANT me to make them happy. Have you ever experienced this? I lived with a man, who once asked me for « happiness » for Christmas. That day, I decided that I would do anything and everything I can to give him that. I would even wrap it up in a box put on a pretty bow and sprinkle it with love, kindness and hope, however, every time I would hand him my gift, he would say « thank you » put it down and walk away miserable.

So the gifts got more extravagant, bigger, happier, funnier gifts. For many years I could see all my boxes in a pile, just sitting there in a grey corner, unopened, untampered with and unaccepted. I grew weary, thus, losing my happiness because, in fact, I had given it all away.

Until one day I woke up after a nap or two or three or four!

I woke up and started noticing all those pretty wrapped presents in a multitude of shapes and colors. I decided to take them with me on a journey. I opened them up slowly, sometimes allowing weeks to span in between, months and years even, and each time I received my gift, I felt lighter. I was surprised to see what I had given away so easily, yet never allowed myself to receive : Hope, cheer, kindness, gentleness, understanding, compassion and deep love.

“I have a sense of the power of who you are, and I’ve always like so much of that which I see in you.” ~Abraham Hicks 

Today, I realise that the only person I can make happy is me (oh I can add to someone’s happiness but I cannot decide their fate or how they are going to feel that day), and if that means loving someone dear from afar, and allowing them walk in the darkness, their darkness. If it means, I do not allow their experiences to infringe on my development, this is the most self-loving thing I can do!

help-othersI too suffer from mental illness. Lets support each other. 

Being there for someone is much different for trying to fix what is wrong in their lives, buy spewing speeches, and preaching. Being there for someone, at times, means setting boundaries. These boundaries are my way of breaking up habits that have hurt me in many ways.

« I want to be there for you. I want to empathize with you, BUT I don’t want to keep this story of what’s wrong active in your vibration (in your spirit), and I don’t want to activate what is wrong in your life in my vibration (my spirit or emotional self) because I know for SURE it’s not good for you and it’s not good for me. » ~ Abraham Hicks

And.. no! It is not good for me, So I am taking a nap, and praying you are too. I am healing while you heal, and loving you while I love myself.

This is my inspiration for today’s post. You can start at the 38 second mark. 

 

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7 Comments

  1. Beautiful writing and a beautiful message, thank you!

    I recenlty learned that one of my life themes is ‘Emotional Rescuer’. Many of us empathetic types can be bound up in this cycle…until we choose to give ourselves the gift of freedom, as you did.

    Thanks for the lovely read!

    Sarah

  2. Kathie Sutherland

    February 17, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    I love that you are so open and clear about your process. You inspire me to leave behind the intellectual writing and go more deeply into my heart writing. Thanks Kim!

    • Kim

      February 17, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      Heart writing is what I do best Kathie. However, I find I am looking more and more into finding balance between a journal post and a professional post.

      I want to make my writing even better…

      Getting there!!

  3. I love the way you talk about giving so much to the other(gift wrapped) and how they are not received but then receiving them yourself! just awesome. You are a wonderful writer. Thank you!

    • Kim

      February 17, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      Catherine, Thank you so much.. and you know what? I still have some of those gifts to unwrap.. oh the surprises!! 😉

  4. Bravo Kim! Thank you for sharing this with us all, I know it is deeply personal but such wisdom that we can all learn from. The video is amazing, I loved it and I hope you don’t mind I will share your post but will also specifically share that video. Thank you my dear for sharing your wisdom.

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