There are those days when I think I can conquer the world and I feel at peace with those around me. I am having more of those days now than I did a few years ago, however, I still have down days, challenging days, sad days, and uncomfortable days.
Today is one of them.
This past month or so is filled with family crisis, and I feel someone took jumper cables to my nerves, set the setting to the highest voltage and sent me flying. I wake up full of remnants of bad dreams, heart pounding, hands shaking, and tears flowing. I get to the point at times, I am terrified I am going to lose control, as my mind swivels into the abyss of grey waters, to the point of losing sight of where I am until I suddenly feel my feet on the ground and realize I have daydreamt (not always pleasantly) for what seems to be an eternity.
As I work through all this, I usually get to a calm point around lunch, and I am able to continue my daily chores, or sit around on my computer working on my Facebook page, my blog, and chatting with online friends.
Then I start thinking.
How can I make things different? How can I change the world? How can I make it better for those after me, who may end up suffering from a mental illness or distress?
I am on a mission to find out and asking myself big questions. I am on a mission to raise my voice a notch, to shake some trees, to finally educate those around me about how it is to live with these dragons of Anxiety, Bi-Polar, Depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD etc. and then help change the way society deals with these, at times, debilitating illnesses.
There are so many sites out there spreading the same words as I, sharing their truths, and walking their walk out of the darkness and into a clearing, yet (not to be pessimistic) on the steps of truth, I feel like I must climb up 3 or 4 more.
“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”
― Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
If not for others, than for myself.
Raising my voice has always been easy when my children do something I consider inappropriate. Yet taking a stand when it comes to really saying how I truly feel about the mess society is in when it comes to many things (yet now I am focusing on Mental Health) is a bit more challenging for me.
What if they stop liking me? What if what I say is dumb? What if, after I take a stance, a really hard stance, one where there is no looking back AT ALL, what if they shun me?
Quite powerful negative thoughts going on there right?
So, I decided I will continue the baby steps I am taking for positive change, and allow myself to go deeper into research into mental health and post more detailed accounts along with my personal posts.
We, as a country, as a continent, as a planet, need a better health system to deal with those in need, and not send them back home with a sleeping pill after waiting 15 hours in a Hospital due to a mental break down.
We need help!
Often, those who ask for help, must run through hoops to finally be heard, and I bet you (no I do not have stats yet) we lose a few along the way due to them not been seen, heard or validated.
Did you know, according to Wikipedia :
- Approximately 3,500 suicides take place in Canada annually, slightly below deaths due to cancers of the colon and breast.
- Suicide is the seventh-most common cause of death among Canadian males, and tenth-highest among both sexes combined.
..and meanwhile they are closing Veteran’s offices in Canada, a place for them to safely go when they need help with PTSD, depression, or health issues.
Ombudsman Pierre Daigle, in a hearing this week stated :
« Meanwhile, the impact of a soldier suffering from an untreated mental illness extends to his or her family members. In a recent report, Daigle’s office found that so-called “self-stigma,” in which soldiers are too afraid to come forward and seek help, has a negative impact on the family.
“People being sick and being alone has a serious impact on families,” “So I think there’s still a lot to do, thus urgent action is needed » Read more here
“Serious impact on families” you say? Indeed. Not only for the soldiers suffering from mental illnesses, our own family. My daughter, my mom, my dad, my brother, my son, my friends, our friends — > All affected!
My daughter was in distress just the other day because she perceives me as not getting better due to my agoraphobia emerging AFTER the treatment for depression (which is controlled with meds).
In all areas of Mental Heath, in Canada, and in many places around the world URGENT action is needed, and I am going to try to help from my little living room in Deux-Montagnes, Qc. May as well make good use of my agoraphobia right? Are you with me?
You have not heard the last of me yet!