“Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”
― Franz Kafka
I wonder sometimes about all kinds of things. I wonder about people, places, things. I wonder about nature and how amazing it is. I wonder about my mother, my father, my brother. I wonder why I chose this life, and the people in it. I wonder about my friend and how she is doing. As a child I often wondered what it would be like to be my age. (not to shabby now, but then, I thought I would be confined to a rocking chair holding knitting needles in my hand) I wondered if I could hatch an egg by sitting on it, and I failed! I often wondered why grown ups fought, and why wars existed. Today, right now, I am wondering about wondering.
Why do we wonder?
Wondering, according to Google definitions is: “desire or be curious to know something.”
and Merriam-Webster define’s wondering as: “to feel curiosity or doubt <wondering about the future”
Curiosity is a natural state of children. Children are naturally curious, and this is how they learn the what is ok to touch and what is not. How falling down from stairs can hurt, how reaching out to a dog could be a good thing or a bad thing… that cactuses really prick and drinking salt is yucky! (my step-son actually did this).
I have NEVER lost my sense of wonder. I may have lost myself, my job, my dignity, my sanity, and my glasses, however, what got me out of my “the dark funk” is wondering. Really!
- I wondered what would happen if my children ended up motherless.
- I wondered what life would be like if I got better.
- I wondered about community and how they could help me.
- I wondered about my dreams and ways to accomplish them…
yet.. I still wondered about magical things..
- “I wonder if angels really do exist?”
- “Are there other Universes out there?”
- “Mmm.. I wonder if Horton really heard a Who?”
- “I wonder if they dig deep enough, would they find Mermaids in the Sea?”
All those things came from my inner child! Of course the adult in me wonders often of the more negative things (which I think is worry), yet, some of those “supposedly” negative wonders were the spark to get help when I really needed it.
The good thing about going through this depression, as much as I have been a child of wonder most of my life, the healing process has increased my “desire or be curious to know something.” Yet, the wonderings are becoming more like “I wonder what my life would be like if I did such and such thing” and then from there, I daydream how I would like my life to be: Then I slip in some Unicorns, Mermaids, butterfly meadows, and a magic wand sprinkling sparkly magic wherever I go!
It is my wonderment afterall!! Bibbity bobbity boo!!
“I think us here to wonder, myself. To wonder. To ask. And that in wondering bout the big things and asking bout the big things, you learn about the little ones, almost by accident. But you never know nothing more about the big things than you start out with. The more I wonder, the more I love.”
― Alice Walker, The Color Purple