“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
What do you believe in? Honesty? Integrity? Kindness? We all have our “core values”: fundamental beliefs which are ingrained and are your driving force in the world. My personal core values help me make decisions, choose my friends, and guide me on my path. They what I live by every single day.
It took me a long time to stick to them, growing up, peer pressure often made me veer from what I believed in, then as I got older and wiser, I found it a bit easier to stick to the ones at my deepest core. Yet, even a few years ago, I could still be swayed!
Going off path … my path… helped me get lost.
“Sometimes, you’ll be swayed by the values held by others and amend your own, or refuse and deepen yours even further. “ – Dawn Barclay
Last night, I had another breakthrough. I was having a discussion with one of my children, the content of the convo is not important to this story, however, for context we were not agreeing with each other on everything: thus, as I decided to stop talking (and quietly walk away) my child accused me of not listening.. then said something which started with….
“Well!! All the other moms….”
I sometimes get uncomfortable with confrontation… even my children (especially my children!!). I am also the type of parent who wants my kids to make their own choices… (positive or negative consequences included), however, if these choices go against what I believe in, I am going to state my opinion, then my children are free to make their own decisions.
I was listening to my teen, I heard and understood what my child said, yet, I didn’t agree with the action he/she was choosing. AND sometimes, having lived 47 years, I know what to expect in life, and by stating my truth; my opinion, I was attempting to save my teen from disappointment…
…sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t…
I sat back down, after trying to leave, and said:
“I am not all the other moms!’ I am not going to change what I believe in (now I am getting passionate) just because “all the other moms” think differently. These are my core values, and I am NOT going to tip toe around anyone anymore … I am willing to be flexible with certain ideas and beliefs, but when it comes to what I live by.. what I believe.. No! Not anymore!!!”
I proceeded to say: “My job as a parent is to pass on my core beliefs to my children, whether you choose to use them in your life or not!”
I surprised myself. I didn’t know I had that in me.
When the conversation ended, I thought I would have an even more angry teen on my hands, but no! Once I stated how I truly felt, my child just changed the subject. Even if FrootLoop would have been mad, it wouldn’t have changed how I felt.
My values are mine, and they guide me daily… Veer off course, and I can be in hell again…
No need to “state” them daily.. I must live by them.
Honesty, is the top of my top 10… Living authentically truthful is more and more important as I grow. Living truthfully is one of the best ways to love myself by being honest with myself and others.
Kindness… Being kind can be selfish too! I love kindness. I love spreading kindness. I love to see people smile, and I love to see them happy.
Love... the unconditional kind. This is where I am going with this challenge. I proved to myself I could love my children without then having to give me a thing or be a certain way.. I love them just the way they are.. Perfect!
This guiding principle: living a life of love, must begin with me. We are day 38, in the 40 Day of Self-Love challenge, I honestly can say, I have almost mastered loving myself in this way.
Tell me, what do you live by? What are your guiding principles?
Trust… Oh… Lets talk about trust tomorrow.
It is a whole other story in itself!
“August: You know, somethings don’t matter that much…like the color of a house…But lifting a person’s heart–now that matters. The whole problem with people–“
Lily: They don’t know what matters and what doesn’t…
August:…They know what matters, but they don’t choose it…The hardest thing on earth is to choose what matters.” Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees