“..when someone says “please pray for me,” they are not just saying “let’s have lunch sometime.” They are issuing an invitation into the depths of their lives and their humanity- and often with some urgency. And worry is not a substitute for prayer. Worry is a starting place, but not a staying place. Worry invites me into prayer. As a staying place, worry can be self-indulgent, paralyzing, draining, and controlling. When I take worry into prayer, it doesn’t disappear, but it becomes smaller.”
― Sybil MacBeth
Worry, it is probably the most annoying thing! I come from a family of worry warts, especially from my father’s side. As much as I try to let go of worry, it creeps up in the most sneaky way – Especially when it comes to my children.
I trust them, I really do. I also believe I taught them well.. However, like the days when my father told me a million times to “wear my hat because it is cold outside” I tend to do the same with my FrootLoops.
A nag at times…
I think I worry more about them now, than I did when they were little. My son’s favorite expression now is “Mom!! I’m fine!” Also my awesome, yet independent daughter, is always off on an adventure somewhere, and I cannot be a fly on the wall to watch her every move.
Part of self-love, is letting go of worry and allowing your kids to be who THEY ARE. I do have so many tricks and tools, it is not funny, yet I cannot seem to master “letting go” as easily as I would like. Last year, my daughter took up longboarding, and I freaked out every time she left the house. “Don’t forget to wear your helmet!” “Make sure you have knee pads on” … etc.. She never really told me where they went, she is smart enough to know I would worry. Until I saw a picture of her group at the top of a hill on the road! OMG!
I must let them have fun!
I do not want to put my fears on them. Even as children I would bite my tongue every time I watched them climb a tree. Even today, I do not go with them to Amusement Parks because I KNOW myself. I would spoil their fun. “Are you sure you want to go on that ride? I heard someone actually fell….” You get the gist?
And what is really the purpose of worrying?
Self-preservation is one, but when it consumes us, there seems to be no going back.
What do I do?
First, I must sit and ask God and the Angels to watch over them. That is what I did the last time both kids went to the amusement park, AND William never lost his glasses because something told him to hold on!! (I was worried about the glasses more than the kids LOL)
Then, I try to occupy my mind with something else, but we all know that doesn’t always work cause worry seems to like to live in the back of the head (sneaky bugger). So I try to imagine all my worries go up in balloons, and I ask God to catch them. I mean, I can worry about them later right?
Sometimes, my therapist says, we worry because we think worry makes us more caring. WOH!! (an ego trip?) Deep huh? Worry is also a type of “control” we think if we think about it enough, we are controlling the situation.
But, really, something’s gotta give.. either we worry so much our day is ruined or we let go. This isn’t healthy!!
Today, day 37, I choose to let go. Let go of all worries, and maybe.. later I’ll look at them again. Probably to find out none of my worries never mattered in the first place. I mean, we do tend to think of the worst case scenario… How many times did these scenarios ever play out? Of course, things happen, yet, does wasting my day fretting about them really do any good…?
As I took a short break from writing this morning (now almost afternoon) I noticed my little jar of bubbles which I love to play with to release anxiety and stress, and thought. “What if I blow the worries away?” “What if every single bubble represented something I need to let go of?” Oh yes!! I love this: I took out the wand, and while blowing tons of pretty bubbles, I said “I am releasing (this worry) to God and the Angels”. I repeated this for every single little fret on my mind.
And.. although I think I may still have a tiny bit of “normal mom worry” inside of me, I feel lighthearted and freed.
Those bubbles really work!! I think I am going to go out now and do it again.. just because bubbles are magic!
What are your tricks for letting go of worry?
“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”
― Dalai Lama XIV