“It’s that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so ‘don’t fuss, dear; get on with it’.”
― Audrey Hepburn
For 32 days I have written about what self-love means to me. I’ve dissected my journey into tiny details to really dig deep into the act of loving oneself.
For most of my life, it never dawned on me that I can really notice the girl who is in the mirror across from me when I look into it. She always seemed familiar, but a stranger nonetheless. She learned early on: if she takes care of others, she can earn their love. Yet in reality, it wasn’t the case.
The more she took care of others, and never herself, more often than not, she received disrespect.
I mean, we are taught that being selfless leads to eternal life. Yet, the more selfless she became, the more she felt her life ending.
In the moment, what I know for sure is: I can be kind, generous, compassionate and caring, without being totally “selfless”. The more I care for myself, the more inspired I am to do “random acts of kindness’ ” without going broke (or emptying my emotional bank account). For example, I can spend 1.70 on a coffee for the person behind me, and I am sure the person will be gloriously excited, and I didn’t have to spent my last 10.00 on a whole lunch.
I can give 10 minutes of my time instead of a whole day. I can pick flowers, smile or help someone carry their bags. Just opening the door for a stranger often generates smiles all around.
Oh.. Yes, there are those like Mother Theresa who were born to be selfless, and I honor them. Yet I am not a missionary, I am Kim, woman, mother of 2 who has a lot on her plate….. and what a loving gift I am giving my children being an example of someone who loves, respects, and listens to her truth! They, in turn, can be free of “having to please everyone”!
People pleaser no more!!
Why would I give myself away, when I have 3 people I am responsible for. Me, my FrootLoops and of course Gibson (my dog). I did that until I fell down in my shower in 2009! Give give give.. and I have no one else to blame. Giving everything away, even my self-respect, was what society seemed to mirror, and I had to do the same.
Yesterday I wrote:
If I want to attract love.. I need to become love.
Much better choice! Complete abandon to this new way of being… I am reaping the benefits already going from “selfless” to “selfmore”!
In turn, an abundant, miraculous life is emerging… This is the path I choose.
“It is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Lovingly journeying with Tracie read her latest post here.
Mohini’s self-love is infectious here.