“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” (my note: “and respect your own journey too)
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Almost every morning, as I sip my coffee from my balcony, I see a woman with her toddler walking to the corner store. This child is quite independent as she doesn’t like to have her hand held, and screams every time her mom tries to grab it. Often, as they walk down the sidewalk, mom is on her cellphone. Toddler girl with the fun curly hair, walks with her head down and often falls behind mom as they make their way.
As I watched them this morning, I found myself, in my sleepy state, judging mom’s every move. As thoughts started frantically streaming through my head “That child is going to get hurt one day” … “Get off the God darn cellphone mom!” or “Pay attention to your child !” I began to get angrier and angrier!
This is NOT how I want to wake up!
I sipped my coffee some more, and thought about how I tend to “judge” people. I mean, I told myself I wouldn’t judge anymore, but I still do, and do not like it. Then it came to me, I judge this woman, who in her defence made sure she could see her child; however she still was not “paying attention” or enjoying a walk with her daughter. She was busy talking to the person on the other end of the phone.
For all the times:
- For all the times I spent looking at my computer screen and not listening to my child’s story:
- For all the times my child called me, 10 times, as I was watching my favorite show;
- For all the times my children wanted my attention, but I was too busy doing whatever;
- For all the times my daughter asked when she was little “can I help with the dishes?” and I said no for (I have not clue why I said no)
- For all the times I didn’t want to read that “one last story”
Those are the things in myself I was judging. Not the woman across the street!
The woman with her child is mirroring me. I cannot for the life of me get over every time I have this AHA moment. It is almost like I learn this all over again.
So, instead of judging this woman (whom I think should really get off her phone LOL) who is not me, maybe I should forgive myself for all the times I was not paying attention.. AND to remember to continue to put the laptop screen down every time my teens want to tell me a story.
Eating breakfast in a quiet area instead of in front of the computer (like I am doing now ugh!) or really enjoying that song on the radio by stopping everything I am doing and singing loudly. With mindfulness and love I can take part is what is happening NOW. Like back then… when… how..
…On our walks, with William as a toddler, he used to stop and actually smell every flower he passed. I used to get angry saying “C’mon get going!” until the day I stopped and watched his joy and wonder. I decided to join him in getting my nose all yellow!
Today, day 27, I am going to pay close attention to my thoughts and not judge myself or others. I am going to pay attention to my dinner, and my children.. and really take in the day!
“You can’t judge people and touch their souls at the same time.”
― Tama Kieves, Inspired and Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in your life’s work
Summer Camp Fundraiser Has Begun.
Help send my son to camp click HERE for more details!