40 Days of Self-Love – Day 3 – No more “Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s & I have To’s”

paths-up-mountain“If you are faced with a mountain, you have several options:
You can climb it and cross to the other side.
You can go around it.
You can dig under it.
You can fly over it.
You can blow it up.
You can ignore it and pretend it’s not there.
You can turn around and go back the way you came.
Or you can stay on the mountain and make it your home.” 
― Vera NazarianThe Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

I’ve been in therapy now for 1 and a half years. I have a wonderful therapist, who advocates taking care of oneself.  She is teaching me ways in which I can honor who I am and at the same time she assists in shifting my perception to “I should be” to  “I choose to be. “Choice” is a word I have used for years, however, I tend to fall into the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” often.

To me the words “should, could, would” in a sentence can totally discourage me without even paying attention to what I just said.  For example, if I yell at my children due to frustration, I tend to say “I could have done this differently” making me the bad guy. I mean, as a mom we yell sometimes!  Consequently, what if I change  the latter sentence to “Next time I choose to take a moment to breathe before speaking to the children”.  Do you feel the weight lift?

In choosing to do something or not do something is more powerful that “have to”.

Another example, like I mentioned yesterday, is when it comes to chores. For years I lived in a relationship where when the chores were not done, all hell broke loose in the house. He would say to me: “You should have done this instead of sitting on your computer all day” Well heck man, first of all I was writing, and who cares if I spent the day on my computer relaxing. I do my share!  6 years of this being ingrained in me, when I came here to this apt. I heard his voice all day: “Should, could, would… !” ACK.

Time the change this and quick! How loving is that?

Now, I don’t have to anymore, I choose to. No more regretting what I didn’t do (see yesterday’s post) and more of making choices that are good for me.40 days of self love challenge

  • Today I choose to listen to my body and relax… The dishes can wait!
  • Today I choose to read a good book, while the laundry is spinning in the washer”
  • Today, I choose to take a walk, but I give myself permission to change my mind”
  • Today I choose to… (add your own)

Wait a second.. did I write:  Today I choose to give myself permission to change my mind? WOW HOW POWERFUL!

You don’t HAVE TO! I don’t have to..

More tomorrow…

How are you loving yourself today?

Join us on Twitter with the hashtag #40daysoflove or in Susie Bieler’s FB group 40 Days of Self-Love!

You can start at day 1 even though some are further along.. it is NEVER too late for this challenge! YAY

I want to leave you with a prayer today to invoke your soul towards love:

“Soul invocation” by Alice Bailey/Djwal Khul

I am the Soul,
I am the Light Divine,
I am Love,
I am Will,
I am Fixed Design.

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