Let Go and Let Me Live

corn flowers

I had post lined up for today, but unfortunately a panic attack ensued this morning, and I really was not expecting it. I woke up fine, finer than I have felt in a while, then BANG it just welled up and stayed around for 20 minutes or so.

I decided in order to release what I went through this morning, I would write about it.. so here it goes:

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Let go, and Let Me live

“Stop it you are choking me!”

Out of breath I am frozen..

Not a muscle moving, only the

muscle of my mind…

..desperately focusing on the now..

 

I feel the cold concrete on my toes.

Digging my heals to feel more

Attaching myself to the balcony

imagining gravity pulling me in..

 

“Let go” I scream

Freedom is calling me

I breathe into the surf

and ride out the waves.

 

Crippling fear….

Angels Behold

your beloved needs you

wrap her up in your arms..

 

Breathing I find a little peace

It is so difficult to hold the air

Exhale, exhale, exhale…

Release the fear into tears..

 

Yet the tears are stuck,

fearing I will break in two

… the well is full

What if I drown?

 

“Release me!” I cry

“Let me live…

I beg you…

Let me live”..

Kim Larocque ©

 

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7 Comments

  1. no words…just grateful for you boo coo *bless*

  2. You are a brave woman to share so transparently. I appreciate you so much.

    • Kim

      May 31, 2013 at 8:31 am

      🙂 Thank you Sue! I really do appreciate you too. My transparency is part of my therapy… The truth will set me free. YAY!!

  3. Extra special hugs to you!!! Make sure to take care of you!!!!

  4. Oh Kim…I can feel this through your words. Gentle {{hugs}}. You’re so strong. So courageous….

    • Kim

      May 30, 2013 at 11:56 am

      I have thankfully come down now. So relieved. Now it is self-care all the way for the rest of the day.

      Love to you Tracie <3

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