She dreams in color by Shelly Penko
“The role of the therapist is to reflect the being/accepting self that was never allowed to be in the borderline.”
― Michael Adzema
I am a true believer in holistic healing approach. Meaning, when I was officially diagnosed with depression, therapy, was more important than just taking a pill. In fact, it is my therapist who finally eased me into starting medication as I was terrified. Having a good therapist on my team along with my family doctor, my family and my medication was integral for my transformation process.
I am blessed with the most amazing therapist. She is calm, quirky, imperfect, loving and smart. She has trouble staying focused, yet when the time comes, she focuses on me. She is disorganized, funny, wise and knows how to make me feel valued and seen. My therapist is also like-minded, and adheres to her personal spirituality like me. Thus, since I am weird, quirky too, fun, funny and well me, it feels amazing to have someone accept you for who you are AND laugh at your corny jokes!
It’s all good!
The reason I name some of her “challenges” as well as her amazing ability to shift my perspective when I walk in her office on my darkest days: she’s safe, and one of the most important qualities you can find in a good therapist is their ability to allow you to feel exactly how you feel in that moment. She is also human, and allows some of her “quirkyness” to show, so I know: “Hey, she’s a bit like me, so it is ok for me to act a little (or a lot) weird”.
In no way does she sit there with a pad and whisper Hmmm… or scream “Aha”! While I lie on the couch telling my story. Our sessions are animated, fun, and serious. My therapist adapts to my needs. If I need to stay home, she’ll see me at home, or we can end up by the water sitting on a rock. When I need to move (due to high anxiety) we move, all to make my session the best it can be.
I also have an amazing complicity with my therapist, yet I know she’s not my best friend. Our professional relationship is healthy as we both know where NOT to cross the line. In other words, you won’t be seeing me at her house enjoying old Billy Joel songs over a few beers and some guacamole. However, you may catch us at the back the building where she works, throwing snowballs at the wall yelling “fuck you”!
She says EFF!
I am sure not with everyone, but when it comes time to shed years of anger, the “f” work holds a good punch. For me, anyhow, giving some room for the f bomb to be in my vocabulary once and awhile allows me to express in one big blow the frustrations of a lifetime. Try it!
Don’t give up!
Finding a compatible therapist is not an easy task for some. However, I am a true believer in synchronicity, and I know we met at the right time. A year and a half ago, I was in a deep dark funk after a recent break up. I couldn’t take the pain anymore and I literally thought I was going mad. So, after no deliberation at all, I trusted my instinct, thus, waltzed in the community center I passed by almost every day and started crying for help. Right away, the person who took me in, gave me the card of my now therapist, and also asked her to call me. I received a phone call that night, and I had an appointment the next day.
Talk about manifesting!
My relationship with my therapist is as important to me than eating every day. Without therapy, I do not know where I would be today. Just knowing I have a safe place to tell all and then find tools to heal whatever is ailing me, is a miracle. Doing the work on my end is the accomplishment.. Breaking old toxic patterns will help for my future, my children, and all around ME!
Treating depression, in my opinion, without therapy, is like keeping an old band-aid on a wound which will never heal entirely. The process is long, challenging and there is lots of work to do, yet it is so worth it. The onion of the soul has many layers, and those layers need to be seen one at a time.
Being at the core, I am already feeling the benefits, as my spirit is lighter, brighter and I see the rainbow now.. it is waiting for me.
Are you in therapy? Or have you had therapy? How do you feel about it? Tell me about your experience in the comments below?
If you want more information, Joanne does phone and distance sessions too if you are not in the general Montreal area: Here is a link to her website: Live Well Live Fully