The Benefits of an Amazing Therapist

shellypinko

She dreams in color by Shelly Penko

“The role of the therapist is to reflect the being/accepting self that was never allowed to be in the borderline.” 
― Michael Adzema

I am a true believer in holistic healing approach. Meaning, when I was officially diagnosed with depression, therapy, was more important than just taking a pill. In fact, it is my therapist who finally eased me into starting medication as I was terrified. Having a good therapist on my team along with my family doctor, my family and my medication was integral for my transformation process.

I am blessed with the most amazing therapist. She is calm, quirky, imperfect, loving and smart. She has trouble staying focused, yet when the time comes, she focuses on me. She is disorganized, funny, wise and knows how to make me feel valued and seen. My therapist is also like-minded, and adheres to her personal spirituality like me.  Thus, since I am weird, quirky too, fun, funny and well me, it feels amazing to have someone accept you for who you are AND laugh at your corny jokes!

It’s all good!

The reason I name some of her “challenges” as well as her amazing ability to shift my perspective when I walk in her office on my darkest days: she’s safe, and one of the most important qualities you can find in a good therapist is their ability to allow you to feel exactly how you feel in that moment. She is also human, and allows some of her “quirkyness” to show, so I know: “Hey, she’s a bit like me, so it is ok for me to act a little (or a lot) weird”.

In no way does she sit there with a pad and whisper Hmmm… or scream “Aha”! While I lie on the couch telling my story. Our sessions are animated, fun, and serious. My therapist adapts to my needs. If I need to stay home, she’ll see me at home, or we can end up by the water sitting on a rock. When I need to move (due to high anxiety) we move, all to make my session the best it can be.

I also have an amazing complicity with my therapist, yet I know she’s not my best friend. Our professional relationship is healthy as we both know where NOT to cross the line. In other words, you won’t be seeing me at her house enjoying old Billy Joel songs over a few beers and some guacamole. However, you may catch us at the back the building where she works, throwing snowballs at the wall yelling “fuck you”!

She says EFF!

I am sure not with everyone, but when it comes time to shed years of anger, the “f” work holds a good punch. For me, anyhow, giving some room for the f bomb to be in my vocabulary once and awhile allows me to express in one big blow the frustrations of a lifetime. Try it!

Don’t give up!

Finding a compatible therapist is not an easy task for some. However, I am a true believer in synchronicity, and I know we met at the right time. A year and a half ago, I was in a deep dark funk after a recent break up. I couldn’t take the pain anymore and I literally thought I was going mad. So, after no deliberation at all, I trusted my instinct, thus, waltzed in the community center I passed by almost every day and started crying for help. Right away, the person who took me in, gave me the card of my now therapist, and also asked her to call me. I received a phone call that night, and I had an appointment the next day.

Talk about manifesting!

My relationship with my therapist is as important to me than eating every day. Without therapy, I do not know where I would be today. Just knowing I have a safe place to tell all and then find tools to heal whatever is ailing me, is a miracle. Doing the work on my end is the accomplishment.. Breaking old toxic patterns will help for my future, my children, and all around ME!

Treating depression, in my opinion, without therapy, is like keeping an old band-aid on a wound which will never heal entirely. The process is long, challenging and there is lots of work to do, yet it is so worth it. The onion of the soul has many layers, and those layers need to be seen one at a time.

Being at the core, I am already feeling the benefits, as my spirit is lighter, brighter and I see the rainbow now.. it is waiting for me.

“There are many ways of getting strong, sometimes talking is the best way.” 
― Andre AgassiOpen

Are you in therapy?  Or have you had therapy?  How do you feel about it? Tell me about your experience in the comments below?

If you want more information, Joanne does phone and distance sessions too if you are not in the general Montreal area:  Here is a link to her website:  Live Well Live Fully

 

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12 Comments

  1. You are so lucky to have found her. I wish I had someone like her. I’m so happy for you too, because you seem to be really progressing and that’s wonderful. A big hug, as always, to you!

  2. OMG Kim, I completely agree with you on this. You can’t treat depression with drugs alone, as hard as it can be to find a therapist you click with. I finally found one six months ago. Not that I didn’t like the others, I just wasn’t getting beyond the “venting” stages to really dig into my anxiety/depression problem. My current therapist is professional yet warm, talks to me instead of just sitting there waiting for me to speak. It makes all the difference. Glad to read about your experience.

    • Kim

      May 31, 2013 at 3:46 pm

      So happy you found the right therapist for you. It really is important to work on all those layers with the right person.

  3. I loved the therapist I had in California. She was this amazing down to earth woman that when you walked in, you had to take off your shoes and get comfortable in your chair. She was amazing and has done more for me than any other therapist I’ve had. I wish I could have seen her more and brought her with me here! So glad you have a good one too Kim! They make all the difference.

    • Kim

      May 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm

      Absolutely! 🙂 My therapist takes her shoes off too sometimes and sits comfortably. I love it.

  4. So glad you are able to have this relationship with your therapist. I went through at least half a dozen before giving up on therapy. They were all so stodgy and stiff, with their agendas and clipboards. I swear even thinking about them now makes me anxious. S:

    • Kim

      May 28, 2013 at 10:41 pm

      I am so sorry, Erica, you have not had a good experience with a therapist. Mine is a psychotherapist, couples counselor and she also does art therapy.

      She doesn’t have the title of “psychiatriest or psychologist” yet she is qualified in her field. I really enjoy being her client, as I have grown so much.

      Here’s to one day finding someone (it doesn’t have to be a therapist) who makes you feel seen, validated and heard. (maybe you already have this in your life)

      🙂

  5. Kim

    May 28, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Yes! I will be here with you along your journey!

  6. Carole Décarie

    May 28, 2013 at 11:46 am

    You know all about me and my journey in analysis…after a few years of psychotherapy ( I was having severe chronic migraines and suffered from anxiety) . In my opinion anything chronic has a psychological component and pills alone won’t do the work…and sometimes therapy without pills also does not do the work either. More and more psychologists realize that sometimes their patients need to take medication while in therapy so that they can benefit from their sessions by being able to concentrate more or not get lost in a maze.
    Then I decided to embark on the road to psychoanalysis. I said to myself I will not travel the world but I will travel in my world. It’s very expensive but was worth every penny. When people ask me how it works…I say I can not define it .Like you say it feels like a miracle.It’s only when we look back that we see the change and feel the miracle of therapy. I also tell people that I did not go into analysis for what I already knew about myself it’s the unknown that often needs the healing because we have tossed it deep in ourself. It’s like having a wack on the head when it happens…we are chocked and wonder where this all came from lol… I am going to my last appointment on June 16th ….my analysis is completed but believe me it ever I need supportive psychotherapy I would not hesitate to reach out. The only dependance in life that benefits us is the Human Inter-dependance . Keep on Kim you are experiencing little miracles and will end in what is called ‘heaven on earth’ lol… The big Miracle of Life. Love you and stay strong my dear friend. I’m behind you in your journey <3

    • Kim

      May 28, 2013 at 12:41 pm

      Wow! I hope you have a enjoyable “last session” and I am so proud you continued. You inspire me Carole.

      I feel your support, and this means a whole lot to me, especially from someone who truly understands.

      Love to you.

    • Carole Décarie

      May 28, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      I’m like an emotional child who became an emotional adult and leaving the emotional parent (the Analyst) …it’s a huge moment in my life, I feel many things….happiness, scared to walk alone from now on in my emotional world and very optimistic about the rest of my life. The same as a child leaving home for the first time I guess lol… Physically is the easy part though lol… Thanks for your support as well Kim <3

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