“I may not see you, but I feel you” ~ Anon
Meet Clarissa, her named has been changed because she wishes to remain anon. Clarissa sent me this dream over a month ago. It is not the first time I work with her, she is a regular dream client, and what I find amazing about her dreams, is when she feels insecure or needs comfort, she summons the spirit of a really good friend (who, btw, is still alive yet not in her life). I believe this man is her twin flame, and when times are tough twin flames can unite without physical presence. Her first dream Crossing Paths both Dan (her twin flame) and her mother were there just like this dream. Clarissa admits while discussing her first dream with me, she realized a deep love for Dan (even though she is happily married).
The second dream she shared see here, Clarissa is crashing in a plane, and things seem to be spiralling out of control, Dan is not in this dream, however, I feel these 3 dreams are calling her to heal old wounds and follow her path. The subconscious works in mysterious ways, and when we are NOT on our life’s path, dreams will scream until one listens.
The Latest Dream
Anyway, the latest dream is kind of a doozy. I was in a town I was not familiar with. I know my mother was there, but I don’t remember if anyone else was there, except a child. I feel like this child was not my own, but my mother’s (ire., a sibling?) But the more I think of it (especially given your work with me previously), I wonder if it represented me or my childhood. We were all walking around the town, and I remember seeing Christmas decorations even though it was not cold outside. At one point, we noticed this child was gone. I thought she just wandered off, but although we looked everywhere and called the police, we couldn’t find her. She had just vanished. We were all panic-stricken.
Suddenly, my old friend Dan just appeared –
I have dreamed of him before (but I don’t know if I ever told you his name?) He was just there in the middle of the sidewalk and I grabbed him in a hug. It was like I was holding on to him for dear life. At first he seemed surprised I hugged him, but then realized I needed him. He held me for a long time and I felt very comforted. I don’t remember much else, other than he seemed to disappear as suddenly as he appeared.
The last thing I remember is we were driving away from the town. my mother was driving and she was so distraught over the lost child that she seemed to be trying to intentionally crash.
As for this dream, it seems you are in new territory now (unfamiliar place) and again with your mom who seems to have another girl (maybe you) is with you. Dan and your mom seem to be important figures in your life who give you comfort in times being at a crossroads.
The town was adorned with Christmas decorations, this stood out, even if it was warm. I am wondering, considering our twitter conversation, was there some stress at the time of your dream where you thought you needed to fulfil obligations (like the stress you get with the buying of presents etc) that maybe you wished you didn’t need to fill?”
Or.. longing to be a child again, free from demands of the outside world. The child in you, disappears, where did she go? You never found her in the end. It seems your inner child wants your attention, wants you to find her, to nurture her, to be with her, more and more.
What does your inner child want?
Dan appears to comfort you again, I mean why not right? He was the one where you spent a very meaningful part of your childhood. Going back in time, and what you went through, what was it you (as a child) would have loved to do IF none of the cult thing happened? Dan is totally connected to you because I feel he would be the only one who would understand what you went through then 100%. This inner child, I feel is calling for healing. Total healing, digging deep inside to take all that shit out to move forward in this life, now. Although I know you have done tons of work, the fact your mom, in the dream, wants to crash the car, leads me to assume that she CANNOT LIVE without her. Meaning, there is a part of you (your adult self) who feels you cannot live without your inner child. You inner child, seems to be calling out for help by disappearing.. and I feel you may need to go find her.
When I read Dreaming the Soul Back Home by Robert Moss, there is a section there on Soul Loss. He states that sometimes we leave a part of ourselves (inner children) in a place in time where we were maybe hurt (like the cult). I think if you dig deep enough, you will find little Clarissa back at the cult. She may be ready to come home.
He suggests doing a meditation where you picture your inner child in that place, and gently go to her. It may take time, and for a while she may want to stay, however, after a few meditations, when she trusts you enough you can retrieve her from that place, and give her all the unconditional love she needs.
Here is my post on this: The Inner Dream Child (inspired by Robert Moss)
Also note: In a follow-up email I suggested to Clarissa that she do not attempt soul loss retrieval without a therapist IF it doesn’t feel safe for her. Sometimes, just having someone there helps.
This part really struck me: think if you dig deep enough, you will find little Clarissa back at the cult. She may be ready to come home.
Wow – I think you’re right. It has been so long, and I don’t think I can put it off anymore. The question is: how do I do this? Where do I even begin? I see your recommendation about meditating – I think that will be a good start.
Maybe part of my problem is that I have repressed so much from back then – I think I’m afraid that I will remember something I have repressed, and that it will reverse years of progress. I think it’s a self-defense mechanism. But maybe it’s time that I dig anyway. I need to remember that here and now, I am safe. But it’s hard to put into practice.
I think I need to start trusting, just in general – in myself, and the universe.
Thank you so much!
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