Week 5 The Artist’s Way – Finding the River of Possibility
“We may be floating on Tao, but there is nothing wrong with steering. If Tao is like a river, it is certainly good to know where the rocks are.” ― Deng Ming-Dao,Everyday Tao: Living with Balance and Harmony
This week’s journey of the Artist’s Way, I had to ask myself: “What are the payoffs of remaining stuck?” and explore how I curtail my own possibilities by placing limits on the goods I can receive. In addition, I had to examine “settling for something” instead of being true and authentic. Again, what I discovered is:
- I am my biggest obstacle.
- I am responsible for my own actions
- I have “avoidance” issues.
- I judge myself way too harshly.
I hate to say that it makes me mad, yet it is the truth. If I really want this Journey into the Artist Way to payoff, I must be very honest with myself. By doing so, I open up to a world of possibilities.
Being honest with myself this morning is actually hurting. In this instant, as I am writing, I am feeling my gag reflex, and it “ain’t pretty”. For weeks now, even months (since therapy) I’ve excavated my consciousness, I have seen, first hand, how I my fears come up when I am about to hit the jackpot. I don’t know about you, but when my bank account is full, this is when I have a panic attack. Yes, I have anxiety when I feel the lack;- when my prayers are answered.. I want to RUN!
What I really want for myself is to feel like I am riding the river, safe and secure. Flowing with its current, and not worrying about where I am going, or how I am going to get there. I want to experience the ride. To have goals, but no expectations. I want to use the oars when needed, yet trust the Universe to work its magic. I want to be able to pick up my camera to take the prize picture or write that piece and, in turn, see my words and pictures become part of my livelihood. Sometimes the flow is so lovely and calm. There are times, when I get a glimpse of the horizon, I know Muse In The Valley will be my bring prosperity one day. How, and when, I am not so sure, but I have this gut feeling that this, my friends, is just the beginning of something really awesome.
Yet, there are days, when everything is going right. I am receiving dream interpretations, and doing them. I am reading books, posting my thoughts. I am writing interview questions to authors, and getting them back all answered with tidbits of great feedback. I am getting hits on these Author Interviews, and everything seems to be right with the world of blogging.. yet..
I get lost. I start avoiding and find myself digging up ways to go against the current. By trying to stop the boat from floating down the river, like grasping a tree branch so I can stop the boat, I eventually I get exhausted. When I finally do say “OK OK I give up I’ll go with it” The Universe begins to expand and shows me the way. It provides sails when I need to slow down, anchors for when I need to stop, and calm winds when the need for quiet, peaceful meditation arises. This is how I feel when I am in the flow.
Julia Cameron writes:
“Recovery is the process of finding the river and saying yes to its flow, rapids and all. We startle ourselves by saying yes instead of no to opportunities. As we being to pry ourselves loose from our old self-concepts, we find that our new, emerging self may enjoy all sorts of bizarre adventures” p. 95
So really, in the end, it is all about trust. Trusting in myself, my internal guide, my voice, my creativity, my love for life, my writing, my photography, my likes and dislikes. By placing my dependency on the source itself, I am allowing my dependency on places, things and others to dissipate. Looking at this now. I can see how I put many on a pedestal, how I worshipped them instead of myself, and how I thought that acquiring certain things would make me happier. In fact, the opposite is true now. I am happiest when I am in the present moment. I am happiest when I am doing what I love, and doing it when it pleases me, not others (I am also happy when I am in service of others too, but not despite myself you know?) I am happiest when I am in constant state of gratitude.
I want to end today’s post with another excerpt of The Artist’s Way. (p. 96)
“We tend to believe we must go out and shake a few trees to make things happen. I would not deny that shaking a few trees is good for us, in fact, I believe it is necessary. I call it doing the footwork. I want to say, however, that while the footwork is necessary, I have seldom seen it payoff in a linear fashion. It seems to work more like we shake the apple tree and the universe delivers oranges.
Time, and time again, I have seen a recovering creative do the footwork of becoming internally clear and focused about dreams and delights, take a few outward steps in the direction of the dream – only to have the universe fling open an unsuspected door. (which in my case, is how #Dream Friday and Author of The Week/Literary Blogging started) One of the central tasks of creative recovery is learning to accept this generosity.
Next week, I will continue Week 5, and we will look at The Virtual Trap. I will have a little excercise for you, so get your notebooks ready!
So, going back to the beginning. The biggest payoffs of “being stuck” in fact, is my non success! If I fear success, I fear continuing. So, my friends, this week I will work on the things I resist, in order to move forward on this amazing journey of The Artist’s Way.
The possibilities are endless!!
What is keeping you stuck? What things can you do to start flowing on the river of dreams? Or Do you have a success story? Have you shaken any trees and received the miracles of oranges instead of apples? Tell me in the comments below.
Looking forward to your stories below!