Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers.
Last week in my post Taking The Artist’s Way Out. I promised I would discuss my journey through the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I must admit the first week was a bit low-key, however, I managed my morning pages, writing out my thoughts and worries, first thing in the morning 5 out of 7 times. I am proud of this, as sometimes writing that early in the morning feels like pulling at a hangnail, however, what I enjoyed about was I didn’t have to edit or think about what I was writing all I had and have to do write what is on my mind as I wake up.
This week, I want to talk about my artist date. What is an Artist Date you ask? Julia Cameron describes it as:
“a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist. In its most primary form, the artist date is an excursion, a play date that you preplan and defend against all interlopers. You do not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist, a.k.a. your creative child…”
Planning for me is quite difficult. I am still practicing making commitments and sticking with them especially when it comes to myself. Also, in my defence, I would like to state that on this journey of self-recovery I give myself permission to change my mind. The key here for me is balance, so I am adapting my dates.. allowing myself to change it on a dime, if it feels right for me.
This week I had planned to go by the Rivière des Milles Iles with a sketchbook and spend time contemplating the ducks, the free flow of the water, and the enjoying the sweet sound of the waves. I never made it on that date since the weather was way too hot. I had to come up with another plan and quick!! Sunday (the end of the Artist week for me) was coming fast!
As I woke up Sunday morning, I grabbed my usual cup of coffee and sat on the balcony to watch the birds find their morning worm (yes I do that). As I was observing a black bird digging into the ground, a voice came into my head. “Go to church!” I quickly dismissed the thought and continued watching the show below. Then it kept coming “Go to the church, GO TO THE CHURCH”. I was like: “Shut up! I don’t go to church!” The the voice continued “but you’ve gone to the french church years ago, go to the english church!”
Going to church? Ya right!!
I quickly washed my face, grabbed a decent blue tee, threw on a matching skirt, and ran to out the door. I had 20 minutes to get to the 10 o’oclock mass. Now mind you, my Sunday mornings have always been, get up, have coffee, watch birds, sit down, go on the computer and play, write or read. Never, in a million years do I get up and go anywhere, mind you a church, so this was new for me!
As I walked in the church, I was greeted by the priest and the welcoming committee. They all said “Good morning” as I found myself a spot at the far back-end near the pillar and the candles, oh ya and the door (ahem). A couple up front, a nice looking man with a guitar and his wife I presume, were singing this song about “welcome, belonging and worthyness” and immediately I started to cry. I hadn’t even taken a seat, and I realized I forgot to kneel and make the sign of the cross before I actually sat down. I was desperately seeking Kleenex (which of course I didn’t have), trying to hide the warm flow of tears steaming down my face.
I made it through the service, however, I did experience a huge anxiety attack and almost left. As I was trying to “keep it together” I kept on focusing on the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who looked like she wanted to give me a hug with her open arms.. I prayed for calm to get through the service. As part of me was enjoying the art, the energy, and the music around me. It was, after all, MY artist date.
When it was time for “communion” I decided (even though I did have my first communion) to get a blessing, which again, brought tears to my eyes. I walked back, lit two candles, one for me and one for my brother. Then I left.
I am so grateful I listened to my inner voice because although I am spiritual and do not practice in the Catholic faith anymore. I received the message I needed to hear. You are worthy and you are welcome. My art is worthy and it is welcome. My purple hair is worthy and it is welcome. My children are worthy and they are welcome. You get the picture?
We are all worthy!
Worthy enough to take myself out for coffee and a muffin afterwards. I sat for a while with this experience before going home… and I know I will do it again. Maybe not this church, but there are 3 or 4 other churches to explore. Not really for their particular “faith” but for what messages of love and acceptance that come with almost any faith.
God is love, and God is creation.
This is what Julia Cameron speaks about in this book. God could be anything or anyone to you, I call him God because I am comfortable with it. She explains that through God we find our creativity. She states to repeat:
“The Great Creator has gifted us with creativity. Our gift back is our use of it.” p. 44 week 2
So, this week I will remind myself of these “Rules of The Road”
- Show up at the page. Use the page to rest, to dream to try;
- Remember that it is harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work;
- Choose companions who encourage me to do the work, not just talk about doing the work on why I am not doing the work;
- Remember that it is my job to do the work, not judge the work;
- Remind myself “Great Creator, I will take care of the quantity. You take care of the quality.
Also this coming week, I do plan to go to the river, and draw. Lets hope the weather permits. Also, if you wish to follow Leslee’s journey (my Artist Way partner) you can find her latest blog post here.
BE AWARE! Go to THE BUTTERFLY LAUNCH PARTY for details on the UNVEILING of my New Website on June 29th 2012! My peeps are giving gifts to those you enter! Details on how to enter click HERE!
Love and Light