Its seems, that most of my life, when I am immersed in one thing, I cannot seem to get immersed in another. Multi-tasking, consequently, has been a challenge for me, as I easily get overwhelmed when there is just too much to do. I remember when I was in University, studying to be a Teacher, my boyfriend really wanted me to work at the same time. I argued with him, that if I took a job, my studies would suffer, and luckily for me, he agreed, since he knew me so well. The fact is, even back then, I stayed true to who I am and didn’t even know it.
I am reading a book entitled: The Mists of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley. I am so much into this book, that my writing as taken a back seat, as you can tell by the lack of posts. The book is 876 pages long, and for the first time in a long time, every time I pick up the book, I feel I am taken into a world I have been in before. I even dream about it at night! Woo!
I feel the characters, I know the characters and I identify with the heroine, in a way, that gives me goosebumps. She is, almost like me, dedicated to truth and to who she is, however, she took a long trip away from herself, and got lost. She dismissed her true powers, and took on tasks that made her squirm, yet, every time, she would be pulled.. pulled back into her life of Goddess or Lady of the Lake, and Avalon kept on calling and calling her…
The person I am talking about his Morgaine, Lady of Avalon, Morgaine of the fairies, Morgan le Fay, Priestess and Queen. She is in fact the daughter of Igraine and Gorlois, but she was reared in Avalon, by Viviane, Lady of the Lake and high priestess. She was raised to become the next Lady of Avalon, but why oh why did she leave?
“The Mists of Avalon is in stark contrast to other retellings of the Arthurian tales, which consistently paint Morgaine as a distant, one-dimensional evil witch or sorceress, with no real explanation given (or required) for her antipathy. In this case Morgaine is cast as a strong woman who has unique gifts and responsibilities at a time of enormous political and spiritual upheaval as she is called upon to defend her indigenous matriarchal heritage against impossible odds. The Mists of Avalon stands as a watershed for feminist interpretation of male-centered myth by articulating women’s experience at times of great change and shifts in gender-power. (source WIKI)”
She left, in my opinion, because she did not feel worthy of her calling, her purpose.. Does that sound familiar. She even disappeared for years in the land of the fairies where time does not exist and pleasure reigns..
“To this very day I have never known how many nights and days I spent in the fairy country—even now my mind blurs when I try to reckon it up. Try as I may I can make it no fewer than five and not more than thirteen. Nor am I certain how much time passed in the world outside, nor in Avalon, while I was there, but because mankind keeps better records of time than the fairy folk, I know that some five years have passed.”
Find your center, and time no more shall exist!
As she became closer to her calling again— The shadow of a Druid from Avalon speaks in her mind:
“If you would have the message for the Gods to direct your life, look for what repeats, again and again; for this is the message given to you by the Gods, the karmic lesson you must learn for this incarnation. It comes again and again until you have made it part of your soul and your enduring spirit.”
Remind you of something? Patterns, patterns, patterns!
Then she started remembering who she really is, who she is meant to be,
“There was no sleep for me that night. Alone, I walked in the garden till dawn, and I knew already, shaking with terror, what must be done. I did not know how, or whether alone, I could do what I had begun, but as I had been made priestess so many years ago and renounced it, so must I retrace my steps alone. This night I had been given great grace; but I knew there would be no more signs for me and no help given until I had made myself, alone, unaided, again the priestess I had been trained to be.
I bore still on my brow, faded beneath that housewifey coif Uriens would have me wear, the sign of her grace, but that would not help me now. Gazing at the fading stars, I did not know whether or no the rising sun would surprise me at my vigil; the sun tides had not run in my blood for half a lifetime, and I no longer knew the precise place on the eastern horizon where I should turn to salute the sun at its rising. I knew not, anymore, even how the moon-tides ran with the cycle of my body…. so far had I come from the training of Avalon. Alone, with no more than a fading memory, I must somehow recapture all the things I had once known as part of myself”
So rock on Morgaine! Like me, you are rediscovering what you were called to do in your magical world! I am doing the same, and as I refocus my plans, tweak my options, and choose myself. Other things, may take a back seat, however, the things which are so important to my growth, my well-being are right here in front of me waiting for the Goddess to emerge, and know, that we are all connected, we are one, and we must focus on this.
What book opened your eyes? What book, fiction or non fiction, speak to you in ways you would have never imagined? Let me know in the comments below:
Love and blessings,